In hindsight it probably would have been better if I had been completely slaughtered. Then maybe I’d have been anesthetized against the acute embarrassment I suffered and the furore Jack provoked. But I wasn't and bore witness to every lurid detail as this ghastly event unfolded before my very eyes.
One night after
finishing at the Grand Prix Jack and I and a couple girls took ourselves off to a late night filum
(film/movie). The feature started at some ungodly hour of one-thirty a.m. and
much to our surprise when we arrived the cinema was packed. The place being
packed is significant to the story - one of the two major elements. The other was, as I have
already mentioned, Jack being off his face.
Customers at the Grand Prix were always plying the band with drinks. We tried to keep a limit on the amount we consumed otherwise halfway through the night we’d find ourselves completely legless. We played for five hours, from 8:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. We’d take three five minute breaks every hour which equated to fifteen breaks over the course of one night. If we accepted a drink during every break, and believe me they were offered, it would mean we’d end up having fifteen drinks. The staple band tipple was brandy and coke, so we’re talking fifteen brandy and cokes. And that is exactly what Jack had downed before going to the late night filum.
Customers at the Grand Prix were always plying the band with drinks. We tried to keep a limit on the amount we consumed otherwise halfway through the night we’d find ourselves completely legless. We played for five hours, from 8:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. We’d take three five minute breaks every hour which equated to fifteen breaks over the course of one night. If we accepted a drink during every break, and believe me they were offered, it would mean we’d end up having fifteen drinks. The staple band tipple was brandy and coke, so we’re talking fifteen brandy and cokes. And that is exactly what Jack had downed before going to the late night filum.
We had no sooner settled
in our seats in the centre of the 'packed' auditorium than the main feature started ...and Jack
complained of feeling nauseous.
I've read somewhere that watching a movie, any movie, whilst drunk is not a good idea...but if the movie happens to be the second world war classic “Sink The Bismark” with a whole bunch of battle ships plowing through mountainous seas with the horizon rising and falling, I’m guessing it only makes matters worse. Actually, there’s no guessing about it, it does, no question. I can vouch for it. Within minutes Jack started to gag...I tried to get him to his feet and help him from the cinema but the people sitting next to us in our row wouldn't stand and let us pass. We were in trouble. Serious trouble. The time between Jack's gags and his shoulder-shaking-heaving got shorter and more violent. Then - horror heaped on horror - Jack leaned over the shoulder of the woman seated in front of him and puked...and not just puked. It erupted with force. I've likened it to that geyser in Yellow stone Park - Old Faithful - doing it's thing. A veritable torrent spewed forth... then, with a convulsive shudder, it was over.
The result of the woman finding the contents of Jack’s stomach deposited on her lap is hard to put into words. At first she was completely dumbstruck then she started to whimper...the whimper turned into a howl, the howl into scream...and then she too started to gag with revulsion and I kid you not, her body sort of rippled – I’m guessing it’s a body reflex spasm type thing – and she lent forward and threw up. It was the start of what I believe is called ‘The Domino Effect. Or the second domino in the Domino effect, Jack being the first. Within seconds it seemed half the audience was participating in this chain reaction and throwing up all over each other... that’s a slight exaggeration but there was a good few. It was like the fairground scene in “Stand By Me” only it happened thirty odd years earlier and in real life.
I've read somewhere that watching a movie, any movie, whilst drunk is not a good idea...but if the movie happens to be the second world war classic “Sink The Bismark” with a whole bunch of battle ships plowing through mountainous seas with the horizon rising and falling, I’m guessing it only makes matters worse. Actually, there’s no guessing about it, it does, no question. I can vouch for it. Within minutes Jack started to gag...I tried to get him to his feet and help him from the cinema but the people sitting next to us in our row wouldn't stand and let us pass. We were in trouble. Serious trouble. The time between Jack's gags and his shoulder-shaking-heaving got shorter and more violent. Then - horror heaped on horror - Jack leaned over the shoulder of the woman seated in front of him and puked...and not just puked. It erupted with force. I've likened it to that geyser in Yellow stone Park - Old Faithful - doing it's thing. A veritable torrent spewed forth... then, with a convulsive shudder, it was over.
The result of the woman finding the contents of Jack’s stomach deposited on her lap is hard to put into words. At first she was completely dumbstruck then she started to whimper...the whimper turned into a howl, the howl into scream...and then she too started to gag with revulsion and I kid you not, her body sort of rippled – I’m guessing it’s a body reflex spasm type thing – and she lent forward and threw up. It was the start of what I believe is called ‘The Domino Effect. Or the second domino in the Domino effect, Jack being the first. Within seconds it seemed half the audience was participating in this chain reaction and throwing up all over each other... that’s a slight exaggeration but there was a good few. It was like the fairground scene in “Stand By Me” only it happened thirty odd years earlier and in real life.
I stood there stunned taking in the mayhem instigated by my mate Jack. What was I to do? The crowd was incensed. People were calling for blood. There was only one thing for it. I had to disowned him. Which I did. Left him to his fate at the hands of the mob...what a friend I turned out to be! ...and it shames me to say but I joined in the chorus of disapproval and disgust. Muttering something along the lines of, "String the bastard up” I made a hasty exit.
I think the police were called and Jack spent the remainder of the night in the clink.
So there you are... never go to the movies if you're drunk...and if sober, wherever possible, make sure there's no-one sitting directly behind you...better safe than sorry...you never know what may land on your lap.
I think the police were called and Jack spent the remainder of the night in the clink.
So there you are... never go to the movies if you're drunk...and if sober, wherever possible, make sure there's no-one sitting directly behind you...better safe than sorry...you never know what may land on your lap.
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