47. A near Death Experience at the Rockville Beach Hotel in Sea Point

The Rocklands Beach Hotel in Sea Point was where we took up residence after the 'Siege Of Woodsville' affair. A 'rock' band living at the 'Rocklands' pretty cool, huh? Well we thoughts so at the time...simple things please simple minds.  The Rocklands Beach Hotel was cheap and cheerless but at least we had somewhere to crash...and it was in spitting distance of the Grand Prix - I'm talking figuratively not literally...I've have yet to meet anyone who could propel their spittle a hundred and fifty yards.

                   Lea in the Rockville Beach Hotel parking lot

We had been given two rooms across the corridor from each other, Lea, Mac and I in slept in one, Jack and Frankie the other. 

It was at the Rockville Beach Hotel a couple of months after we moved in that I was subjected to a ‘near death experience’.

It happened early one morning... I say early, it was probably around  10.00 a.m. when I was woken by something being pushed against my face. Groggily I opened an eye to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol. At first I thought I was dreaming then the chilling realization swept over me that someone was actually pushing a gun in my face. It was one of those heart-stopping, bowel-moving moments I wouldn't wish on anyone - it was absolutely bone-numbingly terrifying. I peered beyond the nozzle of the gun. It was being held by a guy who went by the name of ‘Mad Dave’, not the most reassuring monnaker for someone who has got a gun pressed against your head. Even more alarming was the fact that Mad Dave was giggling excitedly...he was definitely high, probably as a kite if not a weather balloon. The giggling excitedly Mad Dave said he had found the pistol in an alley outside the hotel and thought he’d give us a fright. I assured him if that was his intention he had succeeded beyond his wildest expectation. By this time Lea and Mac were wide awake. Mac asked Mad Dave if it was loaded. Turning the pistol on Mac, Mad Dave replied he didn't know but there was one way to find out. 

I’m not sure if time and an overactive imagination has added this to the mix, it’s possible, but I’m convinced I heard Mad Dave cock the hammer back as he trained the pistol at Mac’s chest.  

Lea, thinking fast on his feet, or rather thinking fast cowering in bed, shouted to Dave that it wasn't fair he had only given us three a fright he should give Jack and Frankie a fright as well.

“Ja, you’re right, man", giggled Mad Dave excitedly as he ran out the room, "I’m gonna give Jack and Frankie a fright”.  

We looked at each other in stunned silence, a silence which lasted no more than a couple of seconds before it was broken by a sharp CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! as three shots rang out in the next room. 

Holy shit, the gun was loaded! 

Leaping from our beds we raced across the corridor to Jack and Frankie’s room...the door was open. The smell the cordite hit you immediately. Mad Dave, a thin haze of smoke swirling around him, stood in the centre of the room, giggling like a school girl, waving the smoking pistol around and firing on empty chambers. Click! Click! Click! Shouting " I shot the fucker"!

                                              Air vent 

It was with great relief we discovered "the fucker" was neither Frankie or Jack but the air vent. There had been three live rounds which Mad Dave had used to 'take out'  the air vent high up on the wall near to the ceiling. 

Frankie remained fast asleep throughout this whole incident and when told about it was sceptical that it had ever taken place - even after we pointed out the bullet riddled smashed up air-vent. 

Back to the room...when we looked round we realized one person was missing, Jack. There was no sign of him. His bed was empty, though the crumpled sheets indicated that he had slept in it. Then a voice called out, “Is it safe to come out?” and Jack’s ashen face appeared from under the bed. 

Apparently at the first shot Jack had somehow rolled onto the floor and under the bed in one motion.

Before I leave Mad Dave, there was something else he was famous for. Driving his V.W. Beetle. Many people drove V.W. Beetles...my Mad Dave's was different. Mad Dave's V.W. Beetle didn't have a clutch.There was a clutch peddle alongside the brake and accelerator, but it wasn't joined to anything. It was clutch-less.

Yes, Mad Dave managed to drive his V.W. Beetle all around Cape Town without a clutch. He would listen intently and change gears when the engine reached a certain pitch. There was one drawback. He couldn't use reverse. If he needed to go backwards he'd get out and push. Well, you can't have everything.